


When you Fall Apart

by iamsiriuslyriddikulus



Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Angst, M/M, Mentions of Character Death
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-03-01
Updated: 2014-03-01
Packaged: 2018-01-14 05:29:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,109
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1254682
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/iamsiriuslyriddikulus/pseuds/iamsiriuslyriddikulus
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Danny finds out the truth about Ethan.</p>
            </blockquote>





	When you Fall Apart

It's not the first time Danny's heard the word werewolf mentioned around him. He isn't deaf, and sometimes he wonders if anyone knows how to keep a secret or how to whisper.

His first Google search, back when Allison had first moved to Beacon Hills. had led him down a series of questions he wasn't sure he wanted answers to, not with everything that was gong on.

He isn't stupid, and it isn't that he isn't picking up on the clues. He just chooses to ignore them. After all, it can't be a coincidence that Ethan and Aiden throw a party in Stiles's cousin's apartment. Or that he's never seen their parents or even their uncle Deucalion. Beacon Hills is nothing but a trail of dead bodies.

Turning a blind eye seems easiest.

He accidentally leaves his trumpet in Coach Finstock's classroom, and he goes to get it when he overhears Scott and Isaac.

"Are you telling me you're willing to forgive the twins after they killed Boyd and Erica?" Isaac asks. Danny's mouth runs dry, and he's positive he's heard something wrong.

"Kali killed Erica." Scott's voice sounds weak even to Danny.

"And they were with her. I don't trust them."

Danny stumbles back, and their voices stop. They turn the corner, and Danny just stares. His chest constricts, and his hands clench by his chest.

"Shit, Danny." Scott looks at him as if unsure what to do. "We were just..." He opens and closes his mouth, but Isaac speaks first.

"He deserves to know."

\-- -- -- --

When it's just a list of unsolved cases, missing people, and bodies, the evidence is easy to ignore. Concrete evidence is not.

Danny can't sleep. He spends the night tossing and turning, his sheets wrapped up in his fists and twisted around his torso. When daybreak comes, he doesn't want to go to school -- doesn't want to face anything.

But he's never been one to run away from his problems, and he's not about to start now.

It takes him twice as long to get ready, and by the time he gets to school, he wants to scream. He makes his way to his locker, and it isn't until he's opening it that he hears Ethan.

"Danny, what's wrong?" He's not sure how than can tell when he isn't even looking at him, but Danny turns around. He's so used to finding comfort in those arms, and he resists the urge to move forward and let Ethan wrap them around him and hold him tightly.

"We need to talk."

"Sure, yeah, about what?"

"About the fact that you killed Boyd."

The words linger between them for a while, and Ethan's face drains of color. Danny holds his breath, hoping for a moment that he'll hear him protest -- tell him he's crazy and ask where he heard that. But Ethan doesn't even try to defend himself. "Do you want to skip school or do it after school?"

"After is fine."

His eyes burn, and his mouth tastes of bile as he turns around. It takes all his strength to hold himself together as he walks to class, books in hands. He sits down next to Scott and ignores the worried glance Scott gives him.

If he's made it until now, he can make it until school ends.

\-- -- -- --

The day drags on. He doesn't sit next to Ethan during lunch, and after five minutes, he sees Lydia break away from Aiden and move over next to him.

"You look horrible," she says as she sits down.

"Well, thank you." He sighs and pushes broccoli on his plate around with his fork.

"I'm just being honest." She bites into her apple and brushes her hair behind her shoulder as she turns to face him. "But I couldn't let you sit alone. You look pathetic."

Danny knows that though she sounds harsh, it's nice for Lydia. He stabs at a broccoli and stares at it before speaking. "How do you do it? With Aiden?"

He's sure that Lydia isn't going to answer, and there's a long pause. He's about to tell her that she doesn't have to sit with him when she replies. "There are some days where I remember, and I really don't want to and I can't believe I'm still with him."

Aiden turns his head just a little, but Danny catches it. There's no doubt that Lydia sees it too, but she doesn't acknowledge it. She just shrugs and smiles again. "Besides, if I'm stuck with supernatural neanderthals, I might as well get my fun out of it."

The rest of lunch still goes by slowly, and it takes all of Danny's strength not to look over at Ethan.

By the time school ends, he can't wait to go home. Again, he's at his locker when Ethan appears behind him. "I can drive you home so we can talk." Danny can just remember nights driving back home, arms wrapped around Ethan's waist, wind in his face, laughing and kissing down the back of his neck.

He shakes his head. "Okay." He doesn't want to start fighting, and he squeezes his brow, following Ethan to his motorcycle. He's about to get on when his phone vibrates. The text's from Scott. " _Feel free to text me if things don't go over well._ "

He pockets his phone and gets onto the motorcycle. His skin burns when he wraps his arms around Ethan and leans forward. Beneath him, Ethan is tense as well, and they drive home without saying anything. By the time they park, Danny's skin is crawling, and he gets off and puts the helmet down as fast as he can.

Danny starts walking to the door, but Ethan speaks before he even reaches it. "I've been trying to be a better person."

"A better person doesn't change the fact that you  _killed_ Boyd!" Danny's keys slipped from his hand. He bends down to pick them up, but Ethan bends down as well. "Please just don't."

It takes him a moment to get the key in the lock because his hands are shaking. "You tried to kill Isaac and --" He runs a hand through his hair as he finally opens the door. His parents aren't home yet.

The tears burn behind his eyes, and he can't bring himself to turn around to face Ethan. "I trusted you, and you've just been lying to me."

"They've been lying to you too," Ethan says, and his voice is low and pleading.

"About trying to protect Beacon Hills from people like _you_." His shoulders shake, and Ethan sets a hand on one of them. All he wants to do is lean back in Ethan's arms and cry, but he shakes it off. "How could you do that?"

"I couldn't go against Deucalion. Do you know what he would have done to us?" Danny moves up the stairs towards his room. Most times, he would just drag Ethan back to his bed on top of him and kiss down his neck and chest, pulling him closer. Now he feels like he can't get enough space to breathe.

"That doesn't make what you did any better."

"I'm not like that anymore." Ethan sits down on the bed next to him, and Danny looks up to see his face frantic, tears welling up in his eyes.

"You didn't even start dating me because you cared."

"That's not true." Ethan's hands clench at his side, and he shakes his head.

"So, you didn't just get close to me to have something to use against Scott and Derek?" Danny asks. When Ethan's just quiet, Danny gets up and moves around the room. He feels like he's suffocating sitting still.

"I can't change what I did, but I can change what I'm like. And I am. I'm trying. I'm really, really trying."

Danny's never see Ethan cry. Not after anything that's happened. Danny remembers when Ethan said his aunt had died. He'd been furious and hurt, but he'd never broken down. But now Ethan sits there with his hands in his lap, head bent forward.

Danny watches as his shoulders shake. "Please. Please." Ethan sounds desperate.

"I can't trust you." Danny clenches his jaw steps to the other side of the room, pressing back against the wall. He closes his eyes and takes a deep breath, but his mind won't slow down.

"And now I'm fighting on the right side. I didn't realize..." Danny opens his eyes to see Ethan shaking his head.

"You didn't realize those were the bad guys? They killed innocent people. You killed innocent people. For what? For power? To be the strongest? To fulfill some fucked-up fantasy?" He can't stop, and his voice gets louder, swelling and filling up the room.

"I didn't mean to."

"You can't not mean to kill people. You can't not mean to be a murderer." The words come out loud and hoarse. Ethan freezes for a moment, and when he stands up, he towers.

"I am not a murderer!" Ethan screams it loud enough that Danny shrinks against the wall. He watches Ethan's eyes turn blue. His heart pounds in his chest, and it takes Ethan only a few moment to realize what he's done.

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to scare you." Immediately, Ethan's voice is quiet again -- reassuring and apologetic. Danny can't stop shaking.

"Leave. Just leave." When Ethan starts moving towards him, Danny breaks. "Leave!" His voice cracks, and his fists clench at his side. He's never been more aware how weak he is, not when he had an operation, not when he watched pianist was killed at the concert.

Ethan flinches but moves towards the door. He stops in frame. "I'm not giving up on you. You're the best thing that's ever happened to me."

Danny makes his way onto the bed, curls up into a ball, and cries.

\-- -- -- --

He calms down around dinner time, and he makes it through dinner without too much fuss. He knows his parents are worried, but when they ask him what's wrong, all he can say is, "Ethan." He can't bring himself to say more, and there's anyway so much he can't say.

After dinner, he makes it to his room. Pictures of the two of them are pushed on the wall and by his bed. Danny picks up a box and opens the top. The box is filled with photos and notes.

For a moment, Danny thinks about setting it on fire. He knows it's ridiculous and dramatic, but the dull ache inside of him seems to grow. His fingers tighten around the box before he pulls out the first few pictures.

There's no doubt that Ethan's happy. He can see the smile on his face, and each picture comes with memories. Memories lying on the field, pulling him closer at lacrosse practice for kisses, fingers pulling through each other's hair, hands slipping to each other's waist.

There's one of them shirtless after the pool. He remembers his mother telling them to pose, and he notices for the first time where Ethan's hand is. His fingers brushing against his scar, and he looks down at him with a look that Danny can't call anything but adoration.

_ They make me feel like a survivor. _

_ I really hope you are. _

Danny covers his mouth and squeezes his eyes shut, trying not to cry. There's a knock on his door, and his mother walks in, a mug in her hand.

"I made you hot chocolate."

"I don't want any."

Danny shakes his head, and his mother smiles sadly. She just moves to the bed and sits down next to him. She moves the mug closer, and Danny takes it from her. When she wraps an arm around him, he presses his head against her shoulder.

Her arms feel warm around him. "You are strong," she says. "You need to do what makes you happiest, even if that is letting go." She presses a kiss to his forehead and gets up.

Danny reaches up to wipe his eyes and takes a sip of the hot chocolate. When he goes to set down the photo, he sees writing on the back. He flips it over, and it's obviously Ethan's.

Aloha Au Ia ‘Oe.  _I love you_.

Biting his cheek is the only way to keep him from breaking down again. He sets the photo into the box with shaking hands and moves the boxes to the floor.

That night, he falls asleep in his clothes, ignoring his phone when it lights up with Ethan's text: I'm sorry. His mother’s words ring in his ear when he finally starts dreaming.


End file.
